Right now, for you, the most important thing to know is what not to do. Try not to make any major financial decisions for at least a year following your spouse's death if at all possible. Likewise, if you've just lost your job try to avoid making any significant financial decisions for the first few months while you are job searching. Don't rush into making any major financial decisions such as selling a home, or selling stock or other investments. Don't sign anything you're uncomfortable with and don't make any major commitments.

But after 6-12 months, you should begin reassessing where you are and what your financial needs are, even though it may be difficult to begin that process. To help make money matters seem more manageable, buy a small journal or notebook and start by writing down all of your fears and anxieties. Sometimes seeing it on paper can help you gain some perspective on your situation. Next take a page to write down specific concerns or questions you have such as "How should I invest the money I got from my husband's life insurance policy?" "How do I know if I can afford to keep our house?" This list is not only going to help you start to take charge of your financial life, but it will also help you if you decide to use a financial professional.

Using a journal shouldn't be a one-time effort. Writing down questions, concerns, and details about your financial life can help you see how things are changing, how your life is evolving and how you're growing in your knowledge and ease in managing money.